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i’m lying here in bed on a friday night, at one of the lowest i’ve felt in a long time....

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 00:32:55 +0100

i’m lying here in bed on a friday night, at one of the lowest i’ve felt in a long time. my stomach is full of more food that i could possibly need and i loathe myself for it. this always happen on nights that i feel sad.

when did i convince myself it was okay to go to the store late at night and get candy because i was feeling low. no. that’s not okay.

one of the worst of my downfalls over the last few months is working my butt of during the week, only to go to my boyfriend’s house at the weekend and consume thousands of calories of junk food, telling myself it was all okay because i worked it off during the week. i am a weak person for allowing myself to believe that. i am not as strong as i once was.

and now i have time, i have 18 days until i see him again. i want to take advantage of having an uninterrupted healthy lifestyle. eating clean food and going to the gym everyday. it’s not that hard; i have nothing else to do. i’m going to keep record of the next month before i go to new york on here as a way to keep me motivated.

i can’t wait to get to the gym tomorrow.

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Wed, 27 Mar 2013 01:09:31 +0000

Dear extra fat on my body,

Thu, 17 Jan 2013 22:15:42 +0000

slowlylosinglbs:

You’re not going to see 2014.

So I’m down 2lbs this week which is awesome! I know it’s mostly water weight/not staying...

Fri, 11 Jan 2013 15:23:50 +0000

So I’m down 2lbs this week which is awesome! I know it’s mostly water weight/not staying with my boyfriend but I feel amazing and it’s the first time I’ve been in the 140’s since 2011!!

Just got to stay strong when I’m with him this weekend and actually hit the gym next week instead of just saying I will!

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Wed, 09 Jan 2013 02:49:52 +0000

You can either complain about your Winter Workout now, or complain about your Bikini Body in six months. Your choice.

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 02:44:12 +0000

I just can't wait to see what my body looks like without all the fat. Because I know it will be like nothing I have ever seen on tumblr or in the magazines, because I will see all my hard work in those abs, and remember all the squats I did for my amazing butt. It won't just be a body, it will be a masterpiece.

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 02:28:31 +0000

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Wed, 09 Jan 2013 02:23:59 +0000

I’m going to start documenting my weight loss again because I’ve gained about 15 pounds...

Fri, 23 Sep 2011 02:58:55 +0100

I’m going to start documenting my weight loss again because I’ve gained about 15 pounds over the summer and I hate it. This time, I’m going to get to 135, quickly, but healthily.

I’m starting university in 3 days and I’m interested to see if this will help me or make my journey that much more difficult.

Currently, I’m planning on eating around 1000-1200 calories a day and being super active, ie. taking physical exercise everyday

I’m looking forward to a new healthier weight loss that hopefully can be maintained and have me looking amazing for Christmas :)

i dont know why it’s so important to me to be everyone’s favourite person. i could never...

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 14:29:48 +0100

i dont know why it’s so important to me to be everyone’s favourite person. i could never be everyone’s number one.

but still. to find out you definitely aren’t is a bit shit. especially considering how much i’ve done for her. whatever.

kinda hoping i get the grades i need to go to uni so i can make new friends and become new number ones.

the only favourite person i should be is my boyfriends. i will make that happen. soon.

he likes me back and all is good and right and wonderful and beautiful in the world.

Tue, 31 May 2011 10:25:25 +0100

he likes me back and all is good and right and wonderful and beautiful in the world.

do it or don't do it ahhh

Sun, 29 May 2011 12:00:41 +0100

do i tell him i like him or not?

he’s in my house right now and i can think of how i’d tell him.

BUT IM SCARED.

new lowest weight just in time to rub it in that guy’s face <3

Fri, 20 May 2011 08:10:05 +0100

new lowest weight just in time to rub it in that guy’s face <3

was 143 when i woke up yesterday. utter shock since i drank so much the night before! had an awful...

Mon, 02 May 2011 14:37:34 +0100

was 143 when i woke up yesterday. utter shock since i drank so much the night before! had an awful eating day yesterday, i was just insanely hungry allll day and was 145 this morning.

today’s going really well though, keeping busy and not eating much. off to go get an iced coffee in a bit and then continue cleaning!

will hopefully be at least 143 by my leavers ball on wednesday!

i need to detox, this has been the most unhealthy week ever! only veggies. no smoking. no drinking....

Tue, 19 Apr 2011 16:56:08 +0100

i need to detox, this has been the most unhealthy week ever!

only veggies. no smoking. no drinking. lots of exercise.

from dreamdictionary.com: To dream that you are crying, signifies a release of negative emotions...

Mon, 18 Apr 2011 19:09:04 +0100

from dreamdictionary.com:

To dream that you are crying, signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself. Your dream is a way to regain some emotional balance and to safely let out your fears and frustrations. In your daily lives, you tend to ignore, deny, or repress your feelings. But in your dream state, your defense mechanisms are no longer on guard and thus allow for the release of those feelings that you have repressed during the day.

makes sense. its always my guy friends comforting me which is kinda whats been happening in real life too. girl friend fail.

keep having dreams that i run off crying and a different friend of mine comes and comforts me. wish...

Mon, 18 Apr 2011 18:57:19 +0100

keep having dreams that i run off crying and a different friend of mine comes and comforts me. wish i knew what it meant apart from that im hurting inside.

don’t wake me up at 5am with your pregnancy scare then not even thank me…

Sun, 17 Apr 2011 15:36:46 +0100

don’t wake me up at 5am with your pregnancy scare then not even thank me…

shit that blows: thinking your friend is on your side but she turns and secretly supports your other...

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 02:53:59 +0100

shit that blows: thinking your friend is on your side but she turns and secretly supports your other friend who’s currently fucking you over.

LOL THIS HAPPENED TODAY.

Sat, 16 Apr 2011 02:50:29 +0100

LOL THIS HAPPENED TODAY.